


she had a chassis like an xjs (a skull necklace like a high priestess)

by ghostoftonantzin



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Grinding, Multi, Pegging, Voyeurism, body image issues, just a lot of vampire fluids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:00:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27518023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostoftonantzin/pseuds/ghostoftonantzin
Summary: It's not so much that becoming a vampire has a steep learning curve, as much as the learning curve goes on a lot longer than you'd expect. Take orgies, for example. How was Jenna supposed to know orgies were an established thing in vampire culture?
Relationships: Jenna/Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja (What We Do in the Shadows TV)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 22





	she had a chassis like an xjs (a skull necklace like a high priestess)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Richard Thompson's "You Dream Too Much"

“Look, see, once you can wiggle your fingers around like this, you are ready to add another.” Nadja said, and proceeded to stick another finger in her husband’s asshole while Jenna watched. 

Nadja looked so regal, kneeling there naked on the floor of her crypt, clear pink dildo jutting proudly from her groin. Jenna felt awkward sitting there with her legs akimbo and her own strap-on uncertainly fastened. She could see the grooves where the buckles were usually tightened, and how they’d had to pull out the straps on this one to fit her.

Jenna had honestly been expecting a pep talk or something when she’d said she was nervous about the orgy. Nadja had been so excited when Jenna had brought the invitation around to her house that she had picked Jenna up in her arms and swung her in a circle. Jenna had felt bad, then, confessing that she wasn’t certain if she wanted to go, because wouldn’t everyone have really high expectations? Jenna hadn’t had much sex in either of her lives.

But Nadja had called for Laszlo and marched both of them straight to their crypt, where they were all now naked and sitting in various positions on the hard bare floor.

It really didn’t look like a room set up for sex. There was a desk with a chair at one end and two matching coffins at the other. Did they usually do it on the floor? Jenna wasn’t as uncomfortable on the hard wood as she would have been as a human, but it felt kinda weird not to be on a bed.

“If you curve your fingers down like this, you’ll be rubbing against his prostrate. Try and hit that, it’s supposed to feel very good.”

“It does feel very good, my dear.” Laszlo said from his position on his hands and knees.

Nadja grinned at Jenna. She withdrew her fingers from her husband and clapped her hands together. A little bit of lube splattered off her fingers at the impact.

“Alrighty!” All yours!” Nadja said.

“What?” Jenna said.

“His bum. It’s your turn.”

“I thought you said he was ready.” Jenna said.

“I don’t mean for your fingers. I mean for your” Nadja gestured down at her own strap-on, “penis.”

“I thought- I mean- I mean, I thought I was going to finger you. Like a ‘you watch one, you do one’ kind of thing.” Jenna said.

“Well, you saw me do it. It’s not that hard to finger someone. Just a little bit of extra work for the asshole.” Nadja said. She was still smiling.

Jenna tried to push down her feelings of disappointment. Not that Laszlo wasn’t nice, but Nadja had seemed so excited about the whole thing, even when Jenna had been struggling with the straps of her harness. She’d been kinda curious about what Nadja’s body would feel like. She was already trying to get an eyeful while pretending not to stare.

“Alrighty.” she said, and shuffled over on her knees to them. She put her hands on Laszlo’s hips and looked over to Nadja. “Like this?”

“No, no, you need to use a hand to guide it in.” Nadja said.

“Otherwise you’ll be slipping and sliding all over the place, except for where you need to go. And I’m not opposed, exactly, but direct buggery is what we’re aiming for here.” Laszlo chimed in.

“Okay.” Jenna put her right hand on the dildo and started to push the tip into Laszlo’s entrance. She didn’t meet much resistance, but after a second the harness was starting to pull away from her own body.

“No, no, push in with your hips, darling. Guide it with your hand and push in with your hips.” Nadja said.

“Right, right. _Stupid_.” Jenna chastised herself.

“Not stupid!” Nadja exclaimed, sounding offended on Jenna’s behalf. “This is your first time using a penis!”

Feeling a little better, Jenna started to push her hips forward, slowly. It was funny, feeling it push in. It wasn’t a real sensation, but there was a little resistance pushing back against her.

Before she knew it, the front of her hips were pressed flat against Laszlo’s ass. Jenna looked over to Nadja to see how she was doing, only to find she had vanished. Panicking a bit, she looked around the room, only to find that Nadja had taken up residence in a chair on the other side of them. Nadja gave her a little wave, and mouthed _start thrusting_ , with a little one from her hips for emphasis.

She dug her hands into Nadja’s husband’s hips for leverage, and oh, didn’t that feel nice. Her fingers got a great grip from the soft flesh of his hips. She pulled out slowly, and pushed back in. She was supposed to find a rhythm or something? She was still trying to make sure the harness didn’t come loose.

Jenna watched the dildo slide in and out. There was something about watching it stretch to take her length that felt nice in a new way. She couldn’t see her own when she’d had sex in the past, and the women in the porn her boyfriend made her watch with him had acted so upset by what was happening to them that Jenna hadn’t really focused on what their bodies were doing.

He’d been a shitty boyfriend, she realized that now, but he’d tasted delicious.

When she slid in, the base of the dildo pressed up against her clit and made a sensation like the time she’d tried humping a pillow like she’d read online, only way better. She still couldn’t figure out why humping her pillow hadn’t felt as good as everyone said it would. She could feel herself starting to get wet, wetter than she would have expected by this point.

She looked over to Nadja to see how she was doing, but she couldn’t make eye contact. Nadja was looking at the two of them, with a look on her face Jenna hadn’t seen before. It reminded her of an owl, or some other bird of prey. It was completely rapt.

“Um,” Jenna said, “am I doing okay?”

Nadja still didn’t look at her, just kept her eyes on the two of them. Jenna saw her gaze focus on where her dildo was still sliding uncertainly in and out.

“And after this, maybe could I, uh, do you? I mean, I’d have to clean this really well, I know you’re not supposed to go straight from anal to something else without changing condoms, like there’s a problem with the, uh, bacteria, but-”

“Nothing,” Nadja interrupted finally, “has been up or out my husband’s bum in three hundred years but dicks and dildos, and the occasional plug.”

“And sometimes a decorative object or two.” Laszlo added.

“But you could stand to pick up the pace a little, my darling.”

And so Jenna tried to pick up the pace, squeezing Laszlo’s hips harder. The rhythmic rubbing was starting to feel really good, that blunt sensation against her clit making her ache a bit.

His hips were a really nice handhold, and the backs of his thighs indented really nicely when she pressed the front of hers against them. His body shook a bit, too, all over, when she thrusted in, from his arms to his stomach hanging down a bit to his ass shaking with the impact of her hips.

She’d been told, sometimes, or at least had it implied to her that people were less desirable when they had more body fat. Jenna made a note to herself that these people had been very, very wrong, and to eat them at a later date. Laszlo’s body was soft and decadent and felt really nice to squeeze.

“I like… your body,” she said to him, sounding a little dazed and breathless to her own ears. “It’s nice.”

“It’s very nice. I have impeccable taste, you know.” Nadja replied from her spot in the chair. Laszlo groaned in what was probably agreement.

Jenna looked over at her. She could see Nadja starting to slouch in the chair, like some sort of louche king on his throne. She was jerking off on her dildo like it was her own cock, gripping hard and pulling it, then pressing it down hard against her cunt on the downstroke and grinding the base against herself on every pass.

Jenna hadn’t been able to appreciate Nadja fully before. There was something imperfect about her body, in the small pouch of her lower stomach and the way her legs looked a little too spindly for her torso. Nadja had told her how hard her life had been before she had been turned, and Jenna wondered if she was seeing it right now in the shape of her body, the malnutrition and the hard labor.

The light from the candle flickered across her body, leaving shadows in the dips and crevasses of her flesh, and she looked haunting. Jenna ached with it, ached for the chance to dip her fingers into those pools of darkness.

There was something odd about the picture, and it wasn’t just the unceasing intensity of her gaze. Jenna realized Nadja wasn’t breathing. Not that she needed to, but the lack of rise and fall in her breasts was a little uncanny. Jenna also realized she was staring, and not thrusting. Bad move on her part.

“Does this vibrate?” she asked Nadja, because maybe that would zhush things up a little.

“That’s a very nice antique dildo you’re wearing.” Laszlo replied from beneath her. “Predates motors by quite a bit.” So that was a no.

“Would you mind moving your angle down a bit? I’m getting sensation, but no sparks, if you know what I mean.” he added.

Jenna did her best to comply. She figured she could try and hit his prostate better by arching her back like she’d learned to do in her yoga elective, and maybe leaning forward a little? By his little choked sound at her next sharp thrust, Jenna assumed she hadn’t done half bad.

And at this angle, she could try and give him a reach around. His dick was kind of weird, from what she’d seen, not that she’d had many to compare it to. But the bumps and creases were kind of like the ridges you would get on a fancy condom, and he was leaking a lot from the tip, easing her hand’s movement really well.

Laszlo was letting out soft grunts and moans with each thrust of her hips, which was getting to Jenna. She could feel him squeezing around her from the change in resistance to her dick when she pushed in, and it felt really wild that she was making an older, more experienced vampire groan like that. She’d started to pull him in against her when she was thrusting, too, and she could feel her new strength in how easily she could pull his body down to her root. The base of her harness was still rubbing against her, and she was so wet that she could feel it starting to gather at the edges where her vagina met her thighs and gush a bit with each thrust. 

“You can go a lot harder than that, my sweet little bat.” Nadja said. Her voice sounded deeper, not like in pitch, but like Jenna had only seen the surface of the water before and now had dove beneath.

“Won’t I hurt him?” Jenna said. “Would that hurt you?” she asked Laszlo.

“A little rough sex can’t hurt a vampire,” Nadja said, “unless you’re Nandor.”

“Yes, big fan of hand-holding and eye contact, that one. Very into deflowering virgins.” Laszlo said.

“I was meaning physically.” Nadja said from the chair.

Nothing to do then, but pick up the pace. Jenna started to really slam it home, pulling Laszlo fully to her base with every one of her thrusts. He opened his knees to give her more room. She had to give up on the reach-around, but he was making these choked noises and had collapsed into his folded arms with the force of her thrusts, so Jenna leaned over him even further and started fucking him as hard as she could. She was gasping with the exertion, or maybe she needed the air to gasp because it felt so good, the pounding against her clit better than any fucking pillow on the planet.

Laszlo started moaning louder, almost sharp noises that didn’t sound like any he’d made before, and his body started to shake. Jenna paused- was it rude to keep thrusting when someone was coming? But Nadja said _keep going_ in a guttural hiss from behind her, so Jenna tried to keep pistoning her hips until Laszlo said “Alright, that’s enough.” from his folded arms.

“Oh. Was that it?” Jenna hadn’t come yet.

“No, my dear, but I’m going to need a few minutes to recover before you can keep working your magic. Maybe even as many as three.” Laszlo said.

Jenna looked over to Nadja, who seemed to be in a daze.

“Do I need to do something to come? Should I wait or something?” she said.

“Come here.” Nadja said. Her voice was still doing the thing. “And take off your harness, please and thank you.”

Jenna got up on shaky legs and staggered over to where Nadja had started to sit up a little straighter in the chair, pulling her harness off as she went. The change in her orientation was causing fluid to slide down her legs- like really, she was actually dripping, and every time she squeezed, she could feel a bit more dripping out of her. Was this a vampire thing?

Nadja smiled at Jenna indulgently as she took her place in Nadja’s lap, spreading her legs to do so, and laid a hand gently on Jenna’s waist. Then she smirked a little as her other hand worked over the base of the dildo, which suddenly started to vibrate.

“Surprise!” Nadja exclaimed, like she had personally invented vibration just for Jenna. Maybe she had; maybe she’d come up with the idea and been thinking of some yet-unborn vampire she’d be creating, and how to make sure she never wanted for anything.

Nadja took the dildo in one hand, probably to guide it to Jenna’s entrance, but Jenna put a hand over hers and stopped her.

“Let me- wait- let me do it like this.” Jenna said. She took the dildo in her hand and moved her hips forward until it pressed flat against her cunt, so she could feel the vibrations in her clit and all through her vulva. She closed her eyes and sighed, which sounded a bit like a sob to her own ears.

Jenna felt her head hit the floor, probably hard enough to give her a concussion if she had still been human. She was back on the floor, only this time she was on her back and Nadja was kneeling over her, still gripping her by her hips, but now pressing them bruisingly hard into the floor.

Nadja squeezed her hard and started to thrust wildly and ceaselessly, sliding the vibrator over Jenna’s cunt. Jenna squeezed, because she was dripping and gushing so hard by this point that the slide was easy, if not for how hard Nadja was pressing her hips into hers.

Jenna looked up at Nadja crouched over her. Her eyes were wide and almost unseeing in their intensity, and her mouth was gaping fully open, fangs bared and drooling, dripping strands of saliva onto Jenna’s chest. She looked incredibly monstrous, like she was possessed by a demon whose only purpose was to fuck Jenna to death. It was super fucking hot, watching Nadja look at her like that. Jenna didn’t think there was any porn on earth that could have prepared her for this.

Nadja took one hand and pressed the vibrator down harder against Jenna. Nadja’s hips had stopped their thrusting, and Jenna could see tremors travelling up Nadja’s arms until her whole body was shaking with it. Nadja was pressing hard enough that, if Jenna hadn’t been a vampire, Nadja would have probably forced the dildo straight between her hips hard enough to split the bone.

As it was, Jenna felt herself clenching down tighter and tighter until an orgasm crashed through her, rattling through her body like she was a box full of keys somebody had shaken. She almost whited out from its force, but she was still in her body, still feeling the hard press of Nadja’s hands and fluid dripping onto her thighs from Nadja’s own cunt.

It took a moment for Jenna to catch her breath. She sat up onto her elbows, a little shakily. Nadja had sat back on her ass, looking a bit like Jenna when she’d been watching Nadja finger her husband. She was breathing, but irregularly, like she was trying to remember how.

Nadja smiled at her. It was such a sweet expression that Jenna’s heart flipped over in her chest and she couldn’t help but smile back. Nadja wiggled her eyebrows at her a bit, and opened her mouth to speak.

“I am giving you two minutes before I put you back on your back and fuck you in your pussy.” she said.

Jenna smiled shakily. This orgy was going to _rule_.

**Author's Note:**

> Please imagine that in the first part of this fic Nadja is making the face she made when showing the camera crew around the orgy set up.


End file.
